Time to Go
By: Shannon Hardy

As I sat in that surprisingly comfortable chair it hit me. But could I do it? I've never done it before....I ignored it. I went back to reading. I occasionally glanced out of the window. It hit me harder.

No, I just couldn't do it. But, just think of how many other people
had. That didn't help the matter. My thoughts began to wander. How
does it even work? Is it different than what I am used to? Is it really that big of a deal? I knew these questions would never be answered until I did it. But I wasn't sure I had the nerve. It's not like you can hide what you are doing. You pretty much give yourself away. Everyone knows just what's going on. I decided to try and ignore it again.

As they say, however, third time is a charm, and this time it hit me
with such a force, that I had no choice. I would have to do it, but I
would have to pick my moment.

When I felt it was clear, I clumsily stood up and tried to look casual.
I could feel the eyes of all the other people on me, I felt like I was
on fire. I knew my face was red. I quickly, yet carefully made my
way...I was going to do it, I was really going to do it.

I reached my destination. Now was the moment of truth, now all of
questions would be answered, or all of my fears would come true.
I opened the door and stepped inside. I was startled by my reflection
in the mirror. I caught my breath. Here I was, going to the bathroom
on an airplane.

My only thought when I entered the tiny cubicle was if I had to create
a tight seal, or if that was something you just had to do on the space
shuttle, or if that was just something I heard but wasn't really true
in either case. Well, I wasn't going to take my chances, so I did my
best to create a seal.

Then I couldn't find the toilet paper. And then I wondered if it went
in the toilet or in the wastebasket? WHERE'S THE WASTEBASKET!? I was paralyzed with fear. I knew I had been in here much too long and
people would start to wonder. I quickly regained my composure and
found the little flap built into the wall. I took a deep breath.
"Okay," I told myself, "you're almost done. Stay calm, you haven't
been in here as long as you think."

Before I knew it I was back to my seat. The girl sitting next to me
said, "Boy, that was quick." I just smiled. I felt proud, I had gone
to the bathroom in an airplane. I leaned back in my chair, closed my
eyes, and with a smile still on my lips I fell into a restful slumber.

When not laughing in the face of death, Shannon laughs in the face of a fate much worse- teaching U.S. history to empty-headed teenagers. While she claims to enjoy the challenge of teaching, there are those of us who regularly question her sanity. Perhaps she puts it best when she says "I may be over-worked and under-paid, but at least I'm un-appreciated." Whatever you say, Miss Hardy. Send fan mail and sypathetic letters to: shannon@nathanhood.net


© Copyright Shannon Hardy 2001-2003